Sunday, February 23, 2014

A Word Vomit of Recent Spiritual Insights and Happenings

Passion ignited a flame and sense of urgency within me. I had written a couple of days before in my journal, “Lord, become the one and only desire of my heart. May my love and desire for you overshadow everything in my life, for you alone are fully satisfactory, good and constant.” This still remains the deep prayer of my heart! How fast I get so caught up in worldly matters. I want to be in awe of God, stunned by him. I want his word and love so seared within me that it makes my spirit soar!

Why do we not wake up every day and say, “This is the greatest day of my life!” We become numb, apathetic sometimes, to reality and the world around us that we forget that each day is the greatest day of our lives because…we are alive! I am alive physically and spiritually, and I have a goal I am striving after in order to “press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 3:14). In my newness and as Christ lives within me, I live and breathe with a purpose. God has appointed us to live and have our being in this present generation, the chosen generation. What will we do with that? We are created to seek him and find him and to make him known among all nations. I love Acts 17:

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’”

In Christ we have freedom. My prayer is that in our freedom, we seek to pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord, as this takes a daily self-discipline and consciousness. How are we so forgetful that CHRIST himself LIVES in us! He has cleansed us, set us free, captured our hearts, and allowed us to be partakers of the divine nature. How are we so forgetful that Christ’s power is within us? His divine power has granted us all things that pertain to life and Godliness. He calls us to be true worshipers.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your fait goodness; an to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and bind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins,” (2 Peter 1:3-9).

Francis Chan quotes, “Don’t get so near-sighted that you’re blind. You’ve been given eternal riches in Heaven, and everything is temporary. Forget everything you can see. What is left? Your soul and spiritual things. In your times of prayer, pray like this. You’re talking to the God who made the Heavens and the earth and everything in them.”

“If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore, all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God,” (2 Cor. 5:13-21).

Because of this, and because Christ is now seated in the Heavenly realms, it is FINISHED, and our sins are atoned for. Now, we are called to live lives that are hidden in Christ. “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God,” (Colossians 3:3). There is no power in our flesh; there is only power in Christ, who is in us. There is power that is made available to each one of us! Therefore, the work that is outpoured from us is not our work but rather the work of Christ, and we should only boast in that! We have been appointed, and we have a position to withhold; however, our position determines our practice, in which we must daily deny ourselves and seek the Lord, as we are being refined and edified. Christine Cain put it as, “Get in your dark room. It’s not about your performance but your preparation; seek to be the image of Christ. There is a gap (the process, the practice) between the anointing and the appointing.” We should pray that we get rid of our image, as greatness is measured by how much like Christ we become.

Then, Beth Moore rocked my world with the concept of TIME.

I’ve never thought about how anxious about time we are. Why are we a people anxious about time? We created time, we count it, think about it, look forward to it. Why? It’s innately designed in our being to be anxious about time (just like other things such as why we long to worship, love, and do good). They’re all part of our creation – everyone.

So, time. It’s linear. According to the Kingdom calendar, time is continually COMING.
                  -Gensis 4:26
                  -Luke 2:6
                  -John 7:8
                  -Galations 4:4
The word “time” is used 700 times throughout the bible. There is something that makes us anxious about time, and it is this: time is working toward one huge event, which is the coming of our savior! Doesn’t it make sense?

We’ve been entrusted with this exact time and generation to live our “dash,” as she described. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “For he says, ‘In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.’ I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.’” We’re not promised tomorrow, so what are we doing and how are we living so that the purpose of the Lord for our lives is fulfilled? We are a tiny puzzle piece in God’s enormous, planned-out picture of his creation, and we have a duty and story to fulfill as part of God’s will and in our freedom. It was so cool to behold 25,000 of my brothers and sisters whom I do not know all worshipping the same God and praying for each other, knowing each has his/her own duty to live out wherever they may go and to the ends of the earth to spread among the nations what He has done and to proclaim the Lord’s name! There were so many languages and nationalities. It was a small glimpse of heaven. Our generation is chosen because it is one generation closer to Christ’s return, but I also believe The Lord is doing mighty things in our generation. We’re to also fight the good fight and speak and hold fast to beautiful confessions. Jesus is Lord, and he is coming back.

Lord, my prayer is that I won’t move without you. This song has played over and over in my mind for a week:


Promise maker, promise keeper
You finish what you begin
Our provision, through the desert
You see it through til the end

The lord our god is ever faithful
Never changing through the ages
From this darkness, you will lead us
And forever we will say
You're the lord our god

In the silence, in the waiting
Still we can know, you are good
All your plans are for your glory
Yes we can know you are good
Yes we can know you are good, so good

The lord our god is ever faithful
Never changing through the ages
From this darkness, you will lead us
And forever we will say
You're the lord our god

So we won't move without you
We won't move without you
You're the light of all and all that we need
We won't move without you
We won't move without you
You're the light of all and all that we need
We won't move without you
We won't move without you
You're the light of all and all that we need


The lord our god is ever faithful
Never changing through the ages
From this darkness, you will lead us
And forever we will say
You're the lord our god.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

HopeFUL Romance

Father, you are beyond this life; your glory surpasses any worldly aspect, and our story here in this life and within our tent will only be as beautiful as when we lift our face to the Heavens and surrender our lives completely, allowing You to write out our plans and purpose with the Quill of Hope. May we bask in Your love-light and be washed with daily, merciful renewal. Our days may be numbered, but each passing moment beckons us closer to the goal of our faith: spending eternity with You. While we are here, however, I am confident You delight in our celebrating and experiencing your abundant blessings you bestow upon us.

The love You have for Your Son is lavished unto us, and we are therefore empowered to no longer be hopeless romantics but to instead embrace Holy romance with ever-joyous, eternal Hope. This deep love spills out onto others in our eyes, words, thoughts and actions so that we live in constant, Christ-like romance: Your love for us is immeasurable, and we love others deeply because we first love You. How beautiful it is to realize the two are intertwined with perfection! In Your loving image we are designed. Thank You for your everlasting pursuit; Your divine romance fills up my heart and ignites life within my soul. I am only alive by the breath of Your spirit, and in this moment I listen and breathe you in, leaning into your love. You captivate me, and I cling to You with child-like faith.

I pray all creation would know and worship You and that Your face is all we see as we shout joyful songs in reverence of Your great name. You are more than this life, and my life is with You.

Hillsong United, "Sinking Deep"

"Standing here in your presence
In a grace so relentless
I am won by perfect love
Wrapped within arms of heaven
In a peace that last forever
Sinking deep in mercy’s sea


I’m wide awake, drawing close, stirred by grace
And all my heart is yours
I feel you move, I breathe you in, lean into
your love, oh your love


When I’m lost you pursue me
Lift my head to see your glory
Lord of all, So beautiful
Here in you, I find shelter
Captivated by the splendor
of your face, my secret place


Your love so deep, Is washing over me
Your face is all I seek, you are my everything
Jesus Christ, You are my one desire
Lord hear my only cry, to know you all my life."

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Senior Words of Wisdom

Words of Wisdom

I shared this with my Chi Omega chapter for a bit of senior wisdom for the younger girls. Though there were so many things I wanted to share with them, his basically encompasses what life has been like this semester thus far and what I've learned as a whole throughout my time here at A&M.



        There are SO many things I've learned since being in College, and I would be up here for hours taking you through my experiences and things I wish I had known, but I want to share something that I've really come to be encouraged by, and this mindset has made all the difference in the world to me this year, and I wish it had been this way forever. Maybe this is me trying to simplify my life because everything around me seems like it’s always spinning so fast and changing and demanding and I can hardly grasp moments, maybe it stems from multiple experiences and trials, maybe it's searching for a deeper meaning to things and how to seek pure Holy Joy, maybe it's all I know to do right now at this very point as I'm on the verge of entering into a new, scary phase of life, or maybe it's spending some of my free time diving into inspirational books like the one I just finished, One Thousand Gifts. Regardless, here's what I want to leave you with tonight.
Give thanks and choose joy. I cannot express to you how important this is. So many times, in fact, my entire life I feel like, I have had the tendency to wish things away or while being in one moment, wishing I were someone or something else; I'm constantly thinking about the next moment or things on my to-do list. Are you? This results in never fully being in the moment, giving thanks to what is given to you in the present time, soaking in every minute so it doesn't pass you by too quickly; that's how time gets away from us and like myself, you will suddenly you look up and you're about to graduate. "I can’t wait to get away from my parents, I can't wait until next semester, I can't wait until I'm out of Architecture, out of Texas, until this test is over, wait until Christmas Break, until I have that outfit, until my hair looks this way," have been just a few personal quotes. After I have a boyfriend, or attend this party, or be accepted by this organization, THEN my life will begin, THEN I'll be satisfied and life can start. Sound familiar? But are we ever satisfied? What are you waiting for? There’s good news: you don’t have to wait any longer because it’s here! Give thanks. In the daily tasks, in the laundry, in the meetings, in walking to class, in studying, and even in the painful trials. If we view life like it's a movie- like one mere instance will be the climax (like getting engaged or getting accepted into PPA or becoming a Chi-O), that life isn't complete until it happens and after it does…then what? We're then waiting for something else instead of giving thanks for what's in the present and time gets away and we’re stressed and we’re overwhelmed and we wish it away and we’re stripped of joy. So many times I haven't fully been in conversation because I'm thinking about who I'm going to talk to next, or I'm not listening in class because I'm drowning in thinking about my to-do list for the next two weeks, and I'm letting time pass me by and opportunity to learn and I lose moments with people who aren’t going to live life here with me much longer without even noticing. And guess what? Now I only have 7 more months to be here. We're not even promised tomorrow, and we're so future-oriented and consumed in what all "we're waiting for" that the precious gifts that are given to us every second of every day are not appreciated, accepted, or fully embraced! How exhausting it is to never be satisfied where you are or who you are. Ever. God made EACH moment a gift, and each one is to be accepted with gratitude, and I'm learning, that with gratitude, comes joy. Holy Joy. Joy that you can overflow with, trusting that though you may not know what's coming next, though what's in front of you seems unknown or scary, God is going to light your path as you step one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. One moment at a time. Breathe, and enjoy! Don't wish away singleness for those who are single, don't wish away your experience living in the house, don't take for granted your roommates or friends or your parents your classes or your current involvements or uninvolvements. Don't treat life like it's an emergency, like you always have to be checking your texts, your Facebook, your e-mail, and editing your to-do list 100 times a day. Life is not an emergency. 
This summer, while in Europe, I tried to make it my theme to "Just…be." I wanted so badly to just BE over there, to not be on a strict schedule, to soak in every single minute and every conversation and every sight because I didn't know when I would be back! It was so beautiful and breathtaking and each moment I regarded as a treasure, but why didn't I do that here? Why can't I do that right now? Each moment here is just as beautiful and just as breathtaking in its own way. This is the time of your life! Yes, you will have many "times of your lives," but you're in THIS one RIGHT NOW. Maybe it comes with age, or the fact that my clinging to the Lord has brought thankfulness and joy and hope because that’s all I feel like I know to do in this life that seems so crazy, I don’t know, but this has made me appreciate who I am made to be, who others are, where I came from, and where I am RIGHT NOW. I’m more thankful for my parents, for my roommates, for my personal experiences, for Chi Omega, for Texas A&M. I wish I could say I’m perfect and this is always what goes on in my head, but that would be a lie because I’m still learning and growing and always will be. I just want to invite you to do this with me, with each other. Daily. Don't wish you were somewhere else or someone else, because it goes by all too quickly and you were created uniquely, and one day, you don't want to wish that you hadn’t wished it all away…So give thanks. In whatever way you know to do: out loud, making a list of 1000 things, writing thank you/encouraging letters to others, singing, breathing…being. Now. You will find that your gratitude and acceptance of each good and perfect gift, each moment and for who YOU are, will be married not with happiness, but true, inner, pure Holy Joy. Always give thanks, and choose JOY!

“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy's flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.” -One Thousand Gifts